Jokes
-10 年聚一次
一群同學從40多歲時決定未來每10年就要聚一次.......
當他們第一次決定聚會地點時,40多歲還是壯年的他們選了一家A餐廳,
選A的原因是:服務小姐的身材最好,穿得也最少。
10年後,50多歲的他們再次決定聚會地點時,還是選了A餐廳,
這時他們是因為:A餐廳的菜單的字「最大」。
又過了10年,60歲的他們,又選了A餐廳,這回是因為:A餐廳有「養生餐」。
再10年,70歲了,還是選了A餐廳,這次則是因為:只有這家餐廳有提供「輪椅」。
10年匆匆又到了,80歲的一群同學,
無異議的通過要去A餐廳是:「因為從來沒去過」...( 老年失智症多可怕啊 !) 。
精采的是結帳時同學來了3桌卻要付6桌 --- 多出3桌是「菲傭」。
- "Driver’s Permit?
A young boy had just gotten his driver's permit and inquired of his father if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he'd make a deal with his son.
"You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, get your hair cut and we'll talk about the car." The boy thought about that for a moment decided he'd settle for the offer and they agreed on it.
After about six weeks his father said, "Son, I've been real proud. You brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm real disappointed you haven't gotten your hair cut."
The young man paused a moment then said, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair and there's even a strong argument that Jesus had long hair."
To this his father replied, "Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?"
- "A
successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted
wife. She was a very good-looking woman, and determined to
keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she
decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.
Two men applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.
She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied
she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to
have him around the house than the drunk.
He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and
knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and
the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow
said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job,
and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up
your heels."
The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.
One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock and
no hired hand.
He returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found
the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine,
waiting for him. She quietly called him over to her.
"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as
she directed.
"Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly.
"Now take off my socks." He removed each gently and placed them
neatly by her boots.
"Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly
watching her eyes in the fire light.
"Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as
he was told and dropped it to the floor.
"Now," she said, "take off my panties."
By the light of the fire, he slowly pulled them down and off.
Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into
town again, you're fired."
Internet Safety - Phishing Scams
Here are two articles about "Phishing":
Consumer Advice:
How to Avoid Phishing Scams
How
Not to Get Hooked by a ‘Phishing’ Scam
These two are contributed by Louisa:
How can I
recognize a phishing email?
Recognizing and Avoid E-Mail Scams
Best Practices for Online Shopping
Experts predict another increase in online holiday shopping this year, starting with Black Friday and Cyber Monday, the one-two punch of post-Thanksgiving discounts and deals. That also means a spike in cyber crimes, with more people falling victim to search engine scams, email phishing schemes, fraud and identity theft. Fortunately, there are ways to help you shop safely online.
Arm yourself. Make sure your computer is equipped with up-to-date antivirus, antispyware and antimalware software and that you've installed the latest security updates to your operating system.
Search carefully. When shopping for a hot holiday item such as a video game or toy, beware of using search engines and following links to unfamiliar sites. Search engine scams disguise links to malicious software as seemingly innocuous results to popular searches. If possible, go directly to the sites of retailers you know, trust and have shopped with before.
Beware email links. Retailers send out lots of emails to promote their holiday sales, some with links to their sites. Scammers send out emails, too, seemingly from reputable retailers but containing malicious links. Don't automatically click on every emailed site link. If you're not sure it's legitimate, type the retailer's official home page address into your browser's address bar.
Pay smart. Pay with a credit card or trusted online source such as PayPal. Credit cards typically offer better protection against fraud than debit cards. If you shop online frequently, consider getting a separate card used only for online purchases. That makes it easier to track purchases and allows you to use other cards if the one is compromised.
Follow up. You might not know any fraud has occurred until you receive your credit card statements. Review them carefully to make sure that the purchases listed are ones you actually made. Use these tips to protect yourself against identity fraud.
It's not too early to start putting aside money for next year's holiday shopping season. Get smart saving strategies at statefarm.com. |
This year's sand castles competition in Oregon - stunning....the best yet! June 19th, 2010
Photo-Shop - 不易拍到的
Extra
經典演歌-----很棒的網頁 -
Once in a while, go to the site below and listen to the songs you
listened when you were growing up. Those were the days when we
were young. Have a nice one.
- contributed by George Lai (2009/05/19)
Louisa Leung contributed the following
safety/self-defense tips:
1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is
the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it,
do!
2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans: if a robber asks
for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from
you.... chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or
purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE
OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back
tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy.
The driver won't see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating,
working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list,
etc. DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the
perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun
to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR
CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking
garage:
 |
Be aware:
look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor
and in the back seat. |
 |
If you
are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger
door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them
into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their
cars. |
 |
Look at
the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger
side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car,
you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman
to walk you back out.
IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid
than dead.)
|
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible
places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS
RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times;
even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may
get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking,
well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting
women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into
his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
Attic Safety
Fall might mark your first trip up to the attic in a while, whether you're storing items for the winter, retrieving blankets and coats or hauling out holiday decorations. Here's some advice for accessing attic space safely and assessing the area while you're up there.... continue
|
Home & Garden
Learn
how to identify drywood and subterranean termites
Do
you know how to distinguish the differences between drywood
termites and subterranean termites? These pictures will
help you to learn.
Q: What
are the most notable differences between drywood termites and
subterranean termites?
A: Drywood
termites can live in "dry wood"....they don't require
an outside moisture source. The treatment for drywood
termites is (1) fumigation (2) locally treating the infested
wood or (3) removing the infested wood.
Subterranean
termites live in the soil where they get their moisture. The
treatment for subterranean termites is to "poison" the
soil.
Q: Will
I ever see live termites?
A: It's
very unusual to see live termites. They won't be walking
across your kitchen countertop like an ant. In most cases,
you will only be seeing "evidence" of their presence.
Q: What
visible evidence could I easily identify?
 
A: Drywood
termite droppings are often times "very discrete". Here,
we find a small pile of droppings on the mudsill in the garage. The
close-up shows the neat little pile that would indicate the "kick
hole" (from which the droppings are being pushed out) is
nearby. This 2x4 wall stud has an active drywood termite
infestation.

This
is a good close-up of drywood termite droppings. You
will see they are loose granules slightly larger than salt
or pepper. Under a magnifying glass, they have very specific
serrations confirming they are from a drywood termite.
Q: Can
they cause structural damage?
 
(Exterior
wall to bathroom) (2x4
stud is totally destroyed.)
A: YES. In
most cases, you will see "evidence" of drywood termites
before they cause structural damage; however, here are several
pictures that show a 2x4 wall stud that has been reduced to
nearly paper. This infestation was not evident until
the homeowner started repairing his shower.
Q: WOW
! I didn't realize they could do so much damage. How
long would it take for that kind of damage to occur?
A: This
home has probably been infested for 8-10+ years.
Q: What
evidence would I likely see from subterranean termites?
A: Here
are subterranean termite tubes going up a sheetrock wall in
the garage. You can see that the termites are eating
the paper off of the sheetrock.

Here
are termite tubes going up the foundation wall in the sub-area. Both
of these are good examples of what you could encounter when
walking around the house.
 
These
are GREAT pictures of subterranean termite tubes coming "down" from
the framing. Inside these dirt tubes is a termite freeway. Once
these tubes connect to the soil, the termites can freely run
down to the soil; get a drink of water and then go back up
and start eating on the house again.
Hopefully
these pictures have helped you distinguish the differences
between drywood termites and subterranean termites.
Preparing
for the Rainy Season
The
rainy season is here. Storms are hitting. The wind
is blowing and leaves are falling.
 
Looking
up at my friend Jim's rain gutters, I subtly hinted that it may
be time to clean his gutters. "My GOSH, are
you growing a forest in there? (I'm well known
for my tact.)
Bribed
with a few beverages, I created my favorite FREE "Super
Duper Rain Gutter Cleaning Apparatus". Also known
as the "SDRGCA"
 
To
the untrained eye, this may look like a simple plastic antifreeze
container; however, under skilled hands, it becomes a SDRGCA!
! !
 
My SDRGCA forms
perfectly to the size and shape of the rain gutter for easy cleaning. Plus
it holds more debris than any type of commercial gutter scoop
that I've found. Best of all....its FREE! ! ! Hang
you debris bucket from the rain gutter and cleaning your gutters
become quite simple.
Now
Jim...."Have you thought about installing gutter screens? "
Easiest
way to remove moss from your roof
 
While
still working on Jim's roof, I commented. "Geez,
look at that moss! ! Don't you know this moss can
cause a LOT of damage to your roof?" (My tactful
manner again.)
"The
moss' rooting system can pull up all of the sand granules
that protect the roof from the sun. If you don't treat
your roof every 1-2 years, this moss will reduce the life
expectancy of your roof covering by 20% - 30%."

I've
tried 5-10 different types of moss killing agents and have found
MOSS OUT (from Lilley Miller Co.) to be the best. Home
Depot, Lowe's and your Ace Hardware will carry it. Each
fall after the first rain (when the moss is growing and active),
I simply fill a 2 gallon garden sprayer with the proper solution
and spray the entire roof. Within a very short period of
time, the moss dies. Over the winter, most of the clumps
of moss will be washed away by the rain.

For
about $20.00 per year, your roof can be as clean as this one. |